What is adoption?
Adoption is an amazing act of love and bravery that a biological parent chooses to make sure their child is given a permanent, stable, and loving family.
What are the Differences between Abortion and Adoption?
Abortion
- Abortion is final; you can’t reverse your decision.
- You’ll never touch or know your baby.
- You’ll miss the opportunity to see your child grow and develop.
- Your pregnancy ends with death.
- You may feel guilt and shame about your choice.
Adoption
- You’ll have time to plan your baby’s future.
- You can hold and name your baby.
- You can have continued contact with your child.
- Your pregnancy ends with giving life.
- You may feel good and positive about your choice.
What are the Similarities between Abortion and Adoption?
Adoption
- You can pursue the goals and plans you already had
- You can live independently
- You won’t have to parent before you are ready
- You have the freedom to choose whether or not you want to have a long-term relationship with the baby’s father.
- You can resume your education or career.
Abortion
- You can pursue the goals and plans you already had
- You can live independently
- You won’t have to parent before you are ready
- You have the freedom to choose whether or not you want to have a long-term relationship with the baby’s father.
- You can resume your education or career.
How can adoption be a good choice for me and my baby?
The heartbreaking truth is that many women facing unplanned pregnancy feel unable to care for a child. If you’re not ready to be a parent, you can still give your baby the gift of life by choosing adoption.
Can I choose the family for my baby?
Yes! Most agencies have many adoptive couples who have been studied and approved. You might also want to choose a friend or someone who has been recommended to you.
How much contact can I have with my baby after the birth and after the adoption?
You can spend as much time with your baby at the hospital as you choose. When you are planning your child’s adoption, you can choose an open adoption plan that allows ongoing visits, or you can choose a less open adoption that keeps you informed through letters and photos. If you prefer not to have any contact, confidential adoption is also possible.
How much will my child know about me?
That’s up to you. With an open adoption, you can choose how much contact, if any, you would like to have with the child and his or her adoptive parents. You will have the ability to share details about yourself that you feel are important for your child to know. Regardless of the type of adoption plan, you will want to provide a thorough social and medical history for your child.
Does the expectant father have any rights?
Both you, as the expectant mother, and the expectant father have rights. If you disagree about adoption or you no longer have a relationship with him, your agency or attorney will work with him and/or the courts to determine his rights.
How can I be sure that my child will be well cared for?
Parents who pursue adoption invest of TON of time and energy in becoming parents. It is a difficult, lengthy, time-consuming process. But more than that, they are required to meet with an adoption agency representative, social worker, or other approved agent and complete a number of requirements, including a home-study, to guarantee that they are emotionally and financially ready to parent. Prospective adoptive parents have to meet all criteria set by their home state as well as the agency in order to adopt. Also, if you choose an open adoption with contact between birthparents and the adoptive family, then you will be able to receive updates, pictures, and letters from the adoptive parents as the child grows up.
Do I need an attorney?
In many states, you will not need an attorney, and most agencies provide services to you at no cost. If you do need an attorney, usually those costs are paid by the adoptive family.
How much does it cost me to place my baby for adoption? And, is there help in paying for my pregnancy expenses?
There is absolutely no cost to you to place your baby for adoption. If you need help in paying for your pregnancy expenses and do not already have health insurance, you may qualify for Medicaid, and your agency or counselor should also be able to help you secure coverage. Many adoption agencies and organizations will provide free legal services to help you plan for your adoption, and most agencies will also provide financial support for additional medical and living expenses. If you select an adoptive family for your child before you deliver, that family may also agree to help pay for your prenatal and maternity care.
Is there anyone I can talk to who has been in a situation similar to mine?
Yes, a counselor should be able to connect you with other birthparents that have been in your situation, facing an unplanned pregnancy. They can tell you how they felt, explain what was most helpful to them, and provide additional support and encouragement as you consider the option of adoption. In the meantime, you can also read the birthmother testimonials on this web site.